My Life In Your Hands
by FallenAngel218
Summary: Ducky has a conversation with Jackie Vance, as he prepares for her autopsy. Tag to Shiva/Shabbat Shalom. Written for the NFA "At Your Service" Challenge.


**Warnings:** Tag to Shabbat Shalom/Shiva; minor character death implied.

**Additional Notes:** Written for the NFA "At Your Service" Challenge. The Robert Service poem that I chose is called "Awake to Smile."

_Let me awaken with a smile  
And go to garden glee,  
For there is such a little while  
Of living left to me;  
But when star-wist I frail away,  
Lord, let the hope beguile  
That to Ecstatic Light I may  
Awake to smile.  
~Awake to Smile, Robert William Service~_

She was on his table by sunrise the next morning. He stared at the body bag for a long time. He'd done this many times, but it was never any easier to do it on a friend. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he unzipped the bag to reveal only Jackie's face.

"My Dear, I never expected to see you down here," he said softly. "You had so much life ahead of you."

Ducky started to gather his tools, to prepare for what he was about to do.

"You know, Mrs. Vance, your husband is the most hardworking individual in this Agency. Of course, Agent Gibbs is a close second in personality and work ethic," Ducky said with a smile as he arranged his scalpel and other tools on his work table. "If anyone can find the bastard that did this, it will be Leon."

Ducky walked away from the table for a few minutes, and came back with a box of latex gloves and other necessities. He arranged them on the second shelf of his work cart as he continued his conversation with Mrs. Vance.

"Yesterday's events have been difficult for all of us to take in. Agent Gibbs tells me that Timothy had to pull Ziva away from her father before I got there. She nearly broke his nose trying to get loose."

Ducky walked away again to put on his scrubs. He was back a few minutes later, dressed head to toe in green scrubs and apron.

"Your husband was holding you in his arms, practically willing you to live. He's lucky to have a friend like Jethro, to be there for him now. Your children…well, I'm not sure Leon has told them, yet. I've never had children of my own, of course, but I can imagine how it would feel to have a parent die. My father died when I was young, and my Mother passed a few years ago…"

Ducky fell silent as his hand rested on the zipper of the body bag. For the first time in nearly 30 years, he felt his hand shaking at the thought of unzipping a body bag.

"Oh dear, I seem to have forgotten my safety glasses." He said to himself, and moved away from Jackie's body once more. He found them on a messy work bench, of which he made a mental note to make Mr. Palmer clean later. He returned to the body, and set the safety glasses down next to him, on the cart.

"I think we've got everything we'll need now." He reached up and started to unzip the body bag, but stopped halfway down. Surely there was something he'd forgotten to prepare. He turned and inspected his cart. He had all his tools ready to go, he had his latex gloves, his goggles and scrubs on. But he wasn't ready to do this autopsy.

"Dr. Mallard?"

Ducky looked up to see Jimmy standing on the other side of the autopsy table.

"Dr. Mallard, are you all right?"

"What? Oh yes, quite all right. Shall we begin?"

Jimmy walked around the table as Ducky attempted a third time to unzip the bag. He put his hand over his mentor's.

"Would you like me to conduct this autopsy, Dr. Mallard? You don't look well."

Ducky looked down at the body of Jackie Vance. She looked as if she were asleep. He hated it when they looked that way.

"She had a beautiful smile, Mr. Palmer."

"I didn't know Mrs. Vance like you did, but I'm sure she had a nice smile," Jimmy offered.

"It doesn't get any easier, Mr. Palmer. I've done this to too many friends over the years. I'm afraid it's wearing on me."

"Why don't you let me take point on this one, Dr. Mallard? No one will think less of you."

At that phrase, Ducky straightened and reached for the zipper.

"I have to do my part in finding the bastard that did this. Let's get started, shall we?"

Jimmy smiled.

"Sure. Let me grab some scrubs."

Jimmy disappeared into the back to change, and Ducky pulled the zipper all the way down, and the body bag fell slack to the sides, showing him the body of Jackie Vance.

"Let's see what you can tell me, my Dear…"

**END**


End file.
